Monday, February 9, 2009
Why am I still up?
Good question. Its 4:30am and I have work in only a few hours but here I am awake. I tried very hard to get some sleep about 6 hours ago. I laid down with my wife and closed my eyes and desperately tried to simply be asleep. It seemed like every so often my eyes would accidentally open just long enough to mark the passing of time by the clock that projects on the ceiling. Finally sometime around 1:00am I had an idea. In my youth when I could not sleep I would put in a movie I was very familiar with. Something slow paced with mellow musical tracks every so often. Disney would use suffice but I also enjoyed Tim Burtons "A Nightmare Before X-mas". It just so happens that I have that very movie on blu-ray as well as a digital copy.
So I grabbed up my IPod and my headphones only to discover that for some reason the movie had been erased. I knew I could I get a copy again from my laptop in the living room but then I would have to disarm the alarm and wake up my wife. After some thought I had the idea to watch something on YouTube. Fast forward an hour or so and I had managed to do was pass the time and discover that my headphones are apparently broken. If I can remember by the morning I will have to ask my wife if they worked when she used them last. I am somewhat bummed that they are broken as they were really very nice.
After exhausting all my other ideas I laid back down and tried to once again close my eyes and force myself to sleep. This time I just couldn't lay still. It seemed as though every few moments something different would itch, or my nose would whistle. To make matters worse something decided I was hungry. After a few more moments I got out of bed and loved on the cat for a while, a crime I am sure I will pay for with shredded shoelaces in the near future.
Finally I decided to just get up for a little bit. Perhaps some food and reading would make me tired again and I could catch a few hours sleep. I disarmed and reset the alarm. My wife was so deep asleep she either didn't notice or she did notice and chose not to acknowledge the noise I made. I got a bite to eat and sat down to read a little and write this blog.
It would figure that now that its almost 5:00am I suddenly finally feel a little more run down and possibly ready to sleep. My sleeping habits have always been somewhat abnormal. There are windows of time in which if I lay down I will be able to sleep but if I miss that window then I may as well not bother at all. A feeling washes over me and instinctively I know I only have so much time to lay down and start sleeping.
You would think sporadic sleeping would cause me to nod off throughout the day. Whenever my friend Mike doesn't get enough sleep it is all he can do just keep his eyes open the next day. For me however once the day begins there is very little chance of my nodding off despite my fatigue. Until the feeling washes over me I am wide awake whether I want to be or not.
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2 comments:
I'm just the opposite. I remember when I first started working at Lilly, my wife had me reading Bag of Bones by Stephen King. I was 3/4 of the way through the book that night before I went to bed, and I got so hooked on the energy leading up to the finale that I failed to go to sleep. At all. About the same time I closed the book and lay down, my alarm clock went off.
So, here I am, the first day on the job that would become my career and I'm trying to do it on absolutely zero sleep. My body was not amused. I nearly swerved off the road, asleep at the wheel, five times on my way in. I entered the building all right, but when I got to my new boss's desk, she made me stand there for ten minutes while she prepared some paperwork. Twice during those ten minutes, I quite nearly collapsed, having almost fallen asleep standing up.
Then I had to shadow someone who was already doing the job I was being hired for. Keep in mind, at that time I was hired to do basic data entry. To shadow someone, in case you weren't aware, is to sit in their cube and just quietly watch as they do their job. I sat down and, I was told later, started snoring in my chair no fewer than five times.
When I finally got through the day, and managed to arrive at my home without another near-miss incident, I proceeded directly to my room and crashed out for at least twelve hours.
So, yes Joshua. You and I are very much unalike in that way. My body doesn't just want for sleep, it *demands* it and has no problem enforcing dire consequences upon itself should I deny it.
This is what happens when you sleep in on the weekends :) I also had some trouble sleeping...and yes I know probably every move you made lastnight.
I'm sorry your headphones don't work. They worked for me when I used them last week.
I'm thinking about changing clocks again and moving that somewhere else. Watching the time pass just makes one more anxious about not sleeping. Maybe this new alarm you'll not tune out so easily.
I wish I had the same reaction about being up, though I seem to be developing something similar. Last week I was so tired on my way to work. The day went by fine without any drowsiness but I realized as I was walking out to my car that I wasn't sure how I got to work, not remembering the drive nor where I parked. Luckily I always park in the same area and my car was there, lol.
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