I would have to describe my mood as of late as introspective and "bummed".  Sad seems too severe and depressed seems to dramatic of a descriptor.  The weight of ones own failures is a heavy burden to bear when you gather them all at once.  I am trying not to allow myself to wallow to long in my own self pity lest it become my next "excuse".  I realize that the responsibility for my own success in any task ultimately lies with me.  You can delegate tasks but the accountability will always be your own constant shadow.  Understanding all of this is a  small comfort however and I find myself childishly wishing that it wasn't so.

The past is written in stone that can not be washed away with regret.  History is to be remembered that we might learn from it and not carried with us that it might weigh us down.  Looking forward I feel overwhelmed and my mind tells me I'm tired before I have yet to take my first step.  I'm not tired, I want to be tired, or at least believe I am, as though being tired were some valid appeal for reprieve.

I'm not tired, I'm selfish just like everyone else. I want what I want but I don't want to have to do all the work required to do it.  "I don't know how", "I need help with this part", "I'm not comfortable with this thing".  Irrelevant.  No matter how you say it you're always saying the same thing: "I'd like an excuse for failure because I don't want to do whats required".  The biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  I think I'm just mad because I've realized it for a while but I took comfort in it all the same.