Xoom xoom

I've been pineing over a tablet device for sometime now.  When Motorola offered a free blu tooth keyboard and two day shipping with the purchase of a Xoom it was all the incentive I needed to get me off the fence.  We barely managed to get our order in before the deal ended a few days ago, and today they arrived.  We were a little disappointed with Fed Ex as they gave the packages to someone standing in our driveway who informed them that they did not live here.  Luckly the person was a friend of ours and that aside they arrived in good condition.

We were excited and eager, as is anyone with a shiny new toy.  The device is lightweight and yet solid enough that it doesn't feel flimsy or cheap.  True the reviews it is a fingerprint magnet!  After you the initial setup and "ohhhhh ahhhhh" phase I found myself thinking, "Now what?"  I have this thing now what do I do with it?  Of course I immediately tried to run Frontierville.  At first attempt it loaded but did not seem playable.  Afterwards I was impressed when I noticed that Android had already brought over and installed many of the apps that had been using on my phone. 

The interface is smooth and responsive but suffers from an issue that seems indicitive of all tablets (even the Ipad).  A hot topic seems to be how the different platforms handle multitasking.  To my mind neither of them currently do in a true sense.  Both OS's support uses multiple applications, but only one at a time.  If you are in your browser and you get a message, you click a notification and now you are no longer looking at your browser as the chat window has filled the screen.  When you finish your message you switch back yet again to your browser window once again leaving the chat window behind until you receive another message.  I hesitate to use the word "window" but you need to be able to resize apps or set them on top of or behind other apps.  I want browse the web and have my messages appear in a semi transparent window that I can respond to by clicking in.

I need to have patience however as the medium is still young and developing.  I really like the "app model" of distributing software.  For the most part apps are priced in the right range.  $1, $2, $5 etc is more than reasonable for most apps and even in the event that you do purchase a dud your only out one or two dollars instead $30 or $40. 

I've seen a number of posts asking whether or not a tablet could replace someones laptop or desktop pc.  The answer of course never simple yes or no as it really depends on what you are using your machine for.  As a developer it can't replace my work machine, but I have been intrigued by the idea of replacing my everyday use platform with a tablet.  I think that with right configuration and applications a tablet could in fact be a viable alternative.  I'm feeling confident enough that I am going to try it and see how it goes!

The challenge:  Utilize the tablet in place of a pc or laptop for everyday use as appropriate.  *Disclaimer, usage pertains to where it would be appropriate.  ex. My work requires the use of development tools that are not available on most mobile platforms. 

Friends and Facebook

Like it or not Facebook has had a significant impact of society, though I won't comment whether for the better or worse.  Facebook didn't necessarily change the way in which we communicate, communicating being defined as the transmission of data.  What fundamentally changed was the nature by which communication is consumed.

Rewind 50 years and consider the following scenario:  You've just had a baby and you want to let other people know.  What do you do?  You compile a list of people you think might want to know about the event and write them each a letter.  For brevity you try to consider whether some people will be interested enough.  Fast forward a couple of decades and perhaps instead of letters you are deciding who to call.  Speed forward a few more decades and replace the phone with email.

Email gave us the advantage of simply copying multiple recipients but the premise is still unchanged in that you must specifically select the people you think may have interest in your message.  What Facebook really did that was so "revolutionary" was shifting the responsibility of interest from the person disseminating the information to those with an interest in receiving it.  Passive observation has allowed for more people to take part in conversations they find relevant.

Intrinsic to the Facebook communication model is the concept of "Friends".  I believe "Friends" was a good choice of words to describe the implied contract between both people.  Lets look at what we are really saying when we accept a friend request.  Creating this connection as friend means ultimately that both parties have some mutual interest in each other and by extension in what they may have to say or things happening their lives. It does not imply an obligation to comment or reply to the information that is being distributed.  For all intents and purposes it represents the same principal as its "real life" counterpart.

Consider then very carefully what you are saying when you "UnFriend" someone.  The message you are sending is very clear.  It is the "real world" equivalent of saying to someone, "I have no real interest in anything you do or say nor am I interested in sharing anything with you.  I do not care about you, what you do, or what you think."  Some people believe that actions online do not extend to real life.  As though to say you could write you friend an email to tell them you hate them and wish they would die, but still show up for dinner at their house later that day only to be confused at why they are upset.  Your actions, digital or real, still convey Your feelings and intentions.

Recently a long time friend of my wife and I decided to "UnFriend" her and then became immediately confused when I in turn "UnFriended" him.  At the surface it sounds quite silly and petty like children making faces at each other on the playground, but when you look a little harder you see the real intent.  To translate it to the real world the conversation would be similar to the following:

Friend:  "Hello Joshua and Randi.  Randi I don't really like you anymore, I'm really not interested in anything you do or say and I'd really rather you stay out of my business as well."

Joshua:  "Please leave now."

Friend:  "Why?  What did I do?!?"

In many ways I think Randi and I were both disappointed.  Its not everyday that someone goes out of their way to tell you they don't like you.  Our disappointment however was somewhat tempered by our expectations but this was one of those instances where you hope that you will be wrong.

In many ways these particular friends have always been a direct antithesis of us.  Personally I don't consider this to be bad thing necessarily as different viewpoints and approaches are what make life interesting.  The problem is the perspective that someone adopts when supporting an opposing view.  Some people support their difference of opinions and beliefs as a simple matter of preference, while others tend toward tearing down opposing views.

Unfortunately these particular friends have always tended towards the latter category.  One point in particular was children.  Haven chosen not to reproduce anyone who did not feel similarly was stupid and wrong.  Although we feel differently on the subject it had never mattered in the past since we didn't have children yet. When feared that having children would probably mean an end to our friendship with them but optimistically we hoped not.  Although nothing was directly said, shortly after the announcement communication began to drop off until our friendship finally ended.

Looking back it is somewhat sad.  Very few friendships actually come to a definitive end, opting instead to simply drift apart for a while.  Some would say that such an ending indicates that there was never any real friendship to begin with, but I would have to disagree.  Looking back I can definitely recall some very fond memories and good times.  Though I do not relish the feelings of disappointment I would not trade the fun we had and the good times we shared in order to avoid it.

The middle aged and the restless.

It's about 3:45 and I just can't seem to sleep.  I've been restless the last few days although I'm not sure why.  Even now as I lay here in bed blogging from my I feel unsettled.  It's almost as though I've left something undone but I can't quite remember.  Time seems to just slip past me again and the moments feel fleeting.

I have an overwhelming desire to go to the sea.  Perhaps the weather here is just getting to me.  So much left undone... and yet the thought of the warm ocean air and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore seems to excuse all responsibility.  It's a pity that we spend most of our lives locked away from desires.  At the end of our lives we will look back on the small handful of moments we truly enjoy and wonder why they number so few.

Uninteresting Musings

All this morning my mind has been preoccupied with the notion of time again.  I was specifically pondering the concept of future.  We often suppose that the idea of predestination precludes the possibility of free will.  If it is written then what real choice do we have, and yet history is littered with predictions and visions.  If time is not written there is nothing to see beyond the moment and if time is not recorded than there is nothing to look back on except memory.

An idea suddenly occurred to me that perhaps time and even mortality are not really the problem, but instead symptoms of something bigger, linearity.  Our entire lives our governed by linearity and its manifestation as order.  Words follow single file to form sentences, like footsteps that comprise a journey.  We experience life in a single file arrangement of moments.  Rob yourself of all your worldly senses and you will find that you have little left with which to distinguish the idea of "now" from "then" or even "soon".

If our eyes could see only black and white, color would still be present.  The mind is limited by the means in which it has for receiving input.  Time however is a concept and not necessarily limited by a physical input.  The Greeks had two words for time chronos, which refers to the idea of sequential time, and kairos which refers to a qualitative period of undetermined time.

In the New Testament of the Bible kairos is referred to as "the appointed time in the purpose of God" or the time when God acts.  In the Catholic church the words, "Kairos tou poiesai to Kyrio" are recited before the Divine Liturgy, which means "It is time for the Lord to act" and is used to indicate that the time of the liturgy intersects with eternity.  As far back as Aristotle man has felt the need separate the distinctions of time to make absolutely clear that traditional linear concept was not the intended meaning.

If we remove the idea of linearity from time and assume for the moment that everything has happened, is happening, and will happen at once then perhaps destiny does not preclude free will.  We ourselves have the choices and are making the choices.  When an author writes a book he is choosing the words and order, and yet when he reads his book he is following his story in a linear fashion.  It isn't that he cannot choose what his characters will do next, its that he has already chosen.

I doubt that anyone else will find any of my thoughts of any significant interest, but perhaps they will provide some comfort when I reflect on them later.  There are moments when I feel so close understanding something  I can't explain, and then suddenly its gone.
    

Things left unsaid

With the birth of my son or daughter just around the corner I wondered what I would want them to know in the event that I were not around to teach them.

To my child

Although I do not yet know you, believe me when I say that I love you.  Your mother and I have loved  you since you were a mere idea and our love only grows as we wait for you to be born.  If my only accomplishment in life were you I would rest feeling fulfilled.  Although I am not so foolish to believe that I can summarize 30 years of life in a few pretty words.  I would leave you the following knowledge that I have learned along my way.

In all things try to be honest with yourself.  The easiest lies to believe are the ones we tell ourselves.  Self truth is often uncomfortable, but understanding and accepting who you are is the first step to becoming who you want to be.  It has been said that a person will often believe a lie, either because they want it to be true, or they fear that it might be true.  Strive to recognize this in yourself as well as others.

Although I wish I could impart my faith to you, finding it and understanding it is an individual journey.  In your life you will find many people who wish to "give it to you" or "take it from you".  You will encounter many convincing arguments against it, but understand that faith by its very nature is not something that can be argued.  By its very definition faith is belief in the absence of proof.  Faith is not something rationalized, it is something felt and experienced.

Of love and marriage each day teaches me more but I impart to you a few cherished realizations that was lucky to have very early in life.  If you take only one thing away with you from my words let it be this.  Make sure the person that you choose to be with is someone you respect and who respects you.  That respect will build the foundation for a relationship that will support you when all seems lost.  I love and respect your mother and our relationship has shaped me into a better person.  I pray with all my heart that you may know the same love I have found in your mother.

The following may seem the suspicious words of an older generation but time has rendered them no less true.  Guard well your surroundings and understand how the things that you surround yourself with influence your point of view, be it people, culture, or simple media.  Be who YOU are, not what anything tells you to be.  With honesty, faith, and a strong partner you discover not only who you are but who you truly want to be.

With all my love,

You Father

P.S.  Change your own front brakes and a good sense of humor will help you through some otherwise irritating times.

The Baby Countdown

Since I am humming Final Countdown as I write this, feel free to hum along as you read it.

We are week 37 now so the baby is full term!  Which means it could arrive anytime between now and the next three weeks.  It seems inconsiderate for it not to narrow down the time frame a bit but I will have to wait to have that discussion after it arrives.  In all seriousness though I have mixed emotions.  I have become used to my wife's  protruding belly and feeling the baby push against the palm of my hand through her.  I am accustom to the pregnancy in way that it has integrated into my life.

The experience feels more real now that the due date is so much closer.  Many people comment when they ask me how far along my wife is that I am unusually calm about the situation.  I always found the comment strange, was I supposed to be a nervous wreck?  Am I supposed to be afraid, excited?  How should one feel at this time?  Am I broken or did I fail to realize something?  Perhaps my ADHD is a hidden blessing as I tend not to dwell on any one thing at length.

I do have some anxieties, its just they center on different things.  When we want something we can and usually do imagine it.  If you want a car, you can see yourself driving it and you can imagine the experience.  I have always wanted very much to be a parent, but now that it is happening I find I am unable to visualize the experience.  We have taken child birth classes, watched movies, and read books on birth.  I am filled with the facts of the experience, and yet when I place myself there in my minds eye I am blind.  In those brief moments when I feel anxious I think it is mostly a fear born out of that inability to imagine.

At first I wondered if my ability to "see it" was a sign that for reason it would fall short of actually happening.  More recently I have begun to come to understanding that perhaps the birth of my child is not something to be imagined, but instead something to be experienced.  It has often been said of me that I am emotionally very strong ( as both an insult and a compliment ).  I have a sense that this experience in all its wonder will not just "move me" but permeate through me in a way I have yet to grasp.  Maybe underneath it all that's what I'm really anxious about.

Come and gone

Another weekend seems to have whizzed by again.  Friday is sort of blur after work.  Saturday Julie came over and the three of us worked on the nursery and the upstairs bathroom.  Painting was actually more fun than it has been in the past.  Sunday all I remember is church, having lunch with Mike and then moving a couple items in the house.  With the desk and the other bookshelf in the office its really starting to come together.  The Nintendo PC is a perfect size for the space that its in.  All I have to do is finish pick it up and finding a place for things and it will be a really neat space.  Now its time for bed only to get up again tomorrow to start the week a new.

Sometimes the weekend just feels like some arbitrary demarcation to help break up the days and differentiate one week from the next.  The baby should be due anytime in the next three weeks but it somehow feels so far away.  I often wonder if I am on auto-pilot at some points throughout the day.  It seems like every time I look up from what I'm doing hours have passed.