In less than 6 hours I will have 1/3 of the optimistic estimate for the male lifespan (I'll be 30).  I'm not sure why 30 has always seemed such a significant age to me but it has seemed a milestone for as long as I can remember.  I can't say that have any real regrets in life so far.  That's not to say I haven't made mistakes, I have (Just ask my wife).  I try not to regret my mistakes because I know that undoing them would change the person I am.

I am definitely feeling a little old and depressed.  It's not looking back that bothers me, its looking forward.  I knew what I wanted before this milestone and for the most part I am happy with what I have achieved.  I have no similar aspirations for the next phase of my life.  It's not that I feel I have achieved everything as much as I just don't know what to do.  I attribute some of my angst to the stress of recent events.

I understand a little more about life in general than I did 15 years ago and that knowledge serves to temper my more irrational anxieties.  Things will move forward and I have no choice but to move with them.  All I can do is choose to fight the current or go with the flow.  I have had many blessing thus far and I believe there will be many more to come.  I must remind myself to take solace in this and the fact that in the end everything will be OK.