Sleep

Yesterday marked the beginning of another sleep reset for me.  As the evening wore on I found that I really didn't feel all that tired but when the time came we got ready for bed and I found I had no trouble at all.  My wife tells me that I slept very soundly.  Apparently I slept so deeply that I have no recollection of anything that happened this morning. 

Normally the cat pesters me awake between 4 am and 5 am, but this morning I apparently slept through all of his attempts.  I have no memory of the alarm or the my wifes attempts at waking me.  The only thing I remember was her last attempt before leaving for work. 

Even though I know I've had more than 8 hours of sleep it took everything I had to drag myself out of bed this morning, and after I was up I continued to be tired and groggy.  This in paticular is unusual for me.  As my wife will tell you once I wake up I am normally full energy and full of pep (which often drives her crazy).  The drive to work was hard, I felt as though I were falling asleep and even now a nap sounds like a great idea.

I can't imagine that I actually need MORE sleep!  Maybe my body / mind is just confused.

Circadian rhythm sleep disorder

Interestingly enough I was about to blog about how I feel like my body was born in one time zone and my brain in another. While titling this particular entry I used google to spell check the word Circadian and I came across a rather intriguing article by accident. Circadian rhythm sleep disorder As I scanned through the article the entry on Delayed sleep phase syndrome in particular caught my eye. "People with DSPS, more common than Non-24, do entrain to nature's 24 hours, but are unable to sleep and awaken at socially preferred times, sleeping instead, for example, from 4 a.m. to noon." 4a.m to noon was exactly the times in which I had planned on mentioning! Coincidence? Am I just seeing what I want to see?!? I have had problems sleeping ever since I was a baby. Supposedly the doctor instructed my parents to align my sleep schedule with theirs which at the time was 3rd shift. As I got older however I am told they were unable to "shake" the sleep pattern they imprinted originally. Whether there is any truth or science to the explanation is a matter of conjecture but the consequence still remains. I have often lamented my disdain for the way the world treats time. Why can it not be the same time everywhere? 5am here should be 5am everywhere. I think people are unable to deal with time so abstractly. People want 3pm to mean the afternoon. If its 3pm everywhere then these concepts would not hold true. In any case my sleep pattern as of late is a matter of some frustration. I have tried laying down and closing my eyes and simply keeping them closed. I have laid in bed sometimes for hours without falling asleep. I will say I have noticed that I have an uncanny knack for somehow always looking at the clock at 12:34am. The minutes tick away into hours and still no rest comes. Lately I just get up and work or watch TV or play a game. Sometime around 4a.m I find that I am tired and I slip into bed and every fiber of my being wants to stay there until around 11am or noon. Once I am up, I am up for good and I have no desire to nap. Sometimes when the cycle gets bad or goes on for a while I try to do what I call a hard reset. During this period I just don't give into my desire to sleep in the morning and instead I push on through the day. The hope being that by the time a normal sleeping times comes around I will be tired. Interesting enough I am not absolutely miserable or exhausted during these sleepless periods. There are little times throughout the day when I "feel it" but they are few and far between. Anymore these "hard resets" don't seem to be as effective as they have in the past. I am loath to take a sleep aid but perhaps it will help me re-establish a work friendly sleep schedule. Either that or I could try and change the worlds viewpoint on "working hours". I'm not sure which would be easier.

Re-realization

I am pretty sure I have realized this before and it has probably just slipped my mind.  I talk.  Alot.  It's ok though because the realization is no one listens.  I would say on average during any conversation if someone actually listens 60% of what I am saying then I'm doing good.  In honesty I'm not even sure why I find it surprising.  I shouldn't since it's been constant theme throughout the whole of my life.  Somehow though every so often I forget this lesson and carry on like someone gives a damn.  Silly me.